Game On

  I live on a very friendly street. People wave and look disappointed if you don't wave back. They mow each others lawns, shovel snow together, and drop in on each other constantly. Sounds perfect, right? I guess it is, if you like that sort of thing. I don't.
  For many years I lived in an old farmhouse. It was in the country and I had no neighbors. I could  sit on the front porch, lay out in the sun or take out the garbage without a single "Hi there,what's new?" it was awesome. After a divorce I bought this cute little house in town, a nice sized lot, a wooded backyard..and NEIGHBORS !!!
  What started out as me just wanting privacy, has really turned into a game. After 13 years in this house I have successfully avoided all of them and I don't want my streak to end. Sure, I smile and wave as I drive by them, I'm not a total jerk. It's not as hard as you would think either. If I do anything outside it's in the backyard. The neighbors closest to my house usually take off on the weekend, so that's when I work on my front yard. When I get home the garage door goes down as soon as I pull in. I noticed right away that if you don't, you will have visitors. It's kind of like the "bat signal", an alert goes out, up and down the street !  
  Ten years ago I married a social butterfly, a talker who fits right in, they all love him. I was worried this could spell doom for my plan, but he keeps it on the street or their driveways, where it belongs.
 Over the years I've even changed their names. My personal favorite is the old fella across the street, I call him Mandelbaum, after the Seinfeld character. The fake name really fits him though, this old dude runs, bikes, golfs and kayaks. "MANDELBAUM, MANDELBAUM, MANDELBAUM"!!!
  What caused this hermit like behavior?  I'm pretty sure it's from decades of working in customer service, When talking all day is part of your job, it's the last thing you want to do in your free time.       My home is my castle, I just wish it had a moat ! ;-)